Digesting Jordan & Israel

20 Aug

Made it to Poland.  Listening to drunk’en fools clapping to accordion playing outside my hotel window in Krakow.

Trying to digest jumping Jordan and irritating Israel. Major editing of observations is recommended if I ever want to step foot in the middle east….Hey, I may find out that I don’t want to go back after my ongoing security “incident” at the Tel Aviv airport…

Let’s say, I made it out but my over-sized backpack full of unnecessary items was deemed a security risk and is under observation. Maybe I should have kept the J&J first aid kit and the pound of prenatals and ditched the sulfate-free shampoo and over sized Ziplocs. I’m dreaming of clean undies and a toothbrush right about now.

I knew I had Israeli security risk written all over me. Let’s face it…The tall, sweaty blond shacking up at the catholic monastery now 4-star hotel… drinking ONLY Palestinian beer…channeling the THORNBIRDS as I oggled over tall, hunky priests… going undercover to photo AK47 totting teens… starring at ringlet- wearing Haredi Jews secretly smoking cigs…opting to flirt with dirty, Dutch boys in lieu of the wrathful natives…..and being forced to smuggle pastel yellow gardening gloves bought in Beirut for a Habitat for Humanity project in Poland.

You can see how the deck was stacked against me.  I was going dooooown….So,  when those tempestuous teens running airport security laid their eyes on the pretty pastels – BAM, they immediatly thought military contraband.  No joke. A kid actually said this to me.  D.O.N.E…

Yes.  Need to edit – a lot.  So, give me a day.  I plan to post Jazzercising in Jordan tomorrow and Israel thereafter.

Party onward.. Maybe I will go and see what my fellow Polish friends are cheering about outside my window first…Maybe not.  I’m super stinky.

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